After everything I’ve been through with the spray tan technician whose IQ is in the minus category I tried to make lemonade out of lemons. But, HELLO!?? My headshots appear as though I was auditioning for a role on The Walking Dead. Which, if someone important is reading this, I am totally available and will be camera ready once I exfoliate fully. So contact me and I’ll make sure to be there on set one hour early!
The possibilities good headshots make are endless. I can be doing commercials and The Ellen Show in no time at all! Andy Cohen, here I come! All I need to get are new, perfectly skin toned headshots and then I can reproduce those pictures and pass them out to every agent of every boy band in every city in the world! See? Endless possibilities lay ahead of me. I truly need great pictures and… social media skills! Oh dear me, it’s back to that albatross around my neck. My old demon, Social Media. Like what? Twitter?! Hmmmmmm…. I have a phone. How hard can THAT be???
Jeffrey gets free head-shots with spray tan purchase.
COMING SOON - Why didn’t I read the fine print about my spray tan?! Nonetheless, I’m not looking back … I’m going forward and having my Head Shots taken so I can be put out there for the world to see. I am making lemonade from all the lemons I’ve encountered so far in my journey so far. And I can feel this in my bones, my face will draw everyone to love me.
I hope I can remember my poses. I was practicing that for hours in front of my bathroom mirror. After all, it’s only my face they will see … right? Watch for the next episode # 10 ” HEAD SHOTS” coming Tuesday April 1st
I walked in and instantly took the bait of spray tan and head shot special! I’m on my way to my head shots, but I hope he has a filter to tone down this tan. Let’s just say it wasn’t the one I wanted, but it was the one I could afford! Damn you Oscar nominations and expensive theaters! You just wait until I become famous and so I can save money and get those screeners in the mail. You just wait! Then I can spend my hard earned money on a better matching, more, how do I say it… realistic tan! I will, as God as my witness, never go this color again! All I can say is thank goodness I will be having a professional do my headshots! What could possibly go wrong there? Professional lighting, cameras, etc. I just need to calm down and not sweat and make my tan color run onto my clothes. Boy Band fabulousness is hard!!!
Jeffrey visits a spray tanning establishment that sells celebrity shades he can’t afford.
Protests. Signs. Hate. Love. Oh my! Reverend Fred Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church is dead. What to think?! I have mixed emotions. I’ve asked my friends, too. Here’s what I really
I don’t know why but when I heard that Rev. Phelps was sick I wanted to start making protest signs. You know, like the ones he made when he protested Matthew Shepard’s funeral. Those hate signs. I didn’t know what signs to make so I asked a bunch of friends. Both of them gave great suggestions.
But now that Rev. Phelps is dead I’m filled with mixed emotions. Wondering, if Osama has a new bunk mate, as well as not wanting to be as mean spirited as him and his family.
The Phelps family asking for peace and to be left alone to grieve is ironic to me considering all those families that Westboro Baptist Church protested, yelling that they were glad that this person or that soldier died. The sheer evil that stemmed from these people and their beliefs have certainly made the world aware of who they are and how much their God hates!
I’m choosing a different route. Gratitude! I am grateful for the lessons Fred taught us! He showed us how NOT to love! He showed us that IGNORANCE isn’t bliss. He showed us that small minds have tiny goals… and even smaller churches!
RIP Rev. Phelps. We will never forget you.
COMING SOON - I would never assume that I am the perfect natural color … that’s why I’m tanning for my future! And believe me, my future is in a darker shade than pale or pasty! This can only take me on my road to Boy Band success at a better speed. Everyone loves a good tan. The hearty healthy glow of a tan screams I’m someone to notice! And I’m just the man who can’t wait to be noticed! Watch out Beverly Hilton Hotel, I’ll be pool side in no time taking calls and meetings! Watch for the next episode # 9 ” SPRAY TAN” coming Tuesday March 25th
Okay, so the world is a lot meaner than I thought! So many mean things posted regarding my ideas. So FINE! This just means I won’t be bruising my finger tips with knitting needles or getting the crochet hook in odd places. I’m not giving up on my merchandising ideas. I just need to let them sit and stew. Like a fine wine that needs to ferment. Like cheese needing to age for better taste. Like mold that only grows when the temperature isn’t right in the refrigerator and you lose your favorite loaf of bread you bought in San Francisco and now it’s all bad and you have to toss it out with the fruits and vegetables that shared the same drawer.
Oh well, maybe I just need to stop looking so damn pale! THAT’S IT! I need a tan!!!